I'm Not Superstitious, Just a Little Stitious

Obviously, I'm posting post-Office premier. And what a perfect entre Mr. Michael Scott gave me.

Although I'll also share my alternative name, "Whew! Parts 1 and 2."

Because I am happy to report that I am finally on the other side of several doctors visits and basically two rounds of tests, and have a clean bill of health. Well, more or less. Okay all that sounds worse than it really is.... but hey, this is the dramatic build-up, savor it.

So I know now that I don't have diabetes, after two rounds of blood tests. My first results "tested high" so my doctor asked that I come back after fasting 12 hours. It was apparently totally fine the next time. I think my first results were affected because I hadn't eaten all that day (a rarity) and had just downed a protein bar on the way to my appointment. So maybe that spikes your blood sugar (nurses???) Thank goodness, because I was all prepared to be totally outraged that I'm at the healthiest weight in 15 years and NOW I'd have it? Anyway - Whew #1.

For #2 ... the reason I had the first blood test was so my doctor could make sure nothing was wrong systemically, after I went in about my Dead Leg. Kinda like a peg leg, and I enjoy saying it and feeling like a pirate. Anyway, my Dead Leg is the combo of the left side of my left calf, which is basically numb all the time now - ditto for the right side of my left foot. It (the numb spot) runs down and crosses over my ankle and foot and up my toe. Since June. I noticed it just before vacation. By late August, and two months of the peg leg, I thought, hmmmm, maybe we just better see what's up doc.

Multiple sources guessed - and I believed - that it was probably just a pinched nerve. But it didn't go away and so I finally thought, well, just WHAT IF it's not. And knowing that if something was wrong, it's with your nerves, well, it's just not a comfortable situation.

After visiting my nice new doctor (thanks, Cara!) he said right away it probably wasn't anything serious and immediately agreed with the pinched nerve vote. However, he referred me To A Neurologist Just To Be Safe. Umm, scary!?

That appointment was Tuesday. It's been over a month since I got the referral and made the first available appointment. A looong month. With my mind going to the worst case scenarios the whole time. Naturally. I practically had Matthew an orphan by the time she finally walked in to the exam room Tuesday.

She administered "a full panel of neurological tests" which apparently means wiggling my piggies, playing pattycake and giving me a drunk test (follow my finger with your eyes...). Not exactly the technological breakthrough I'd wanted to confirm I was fine. But she ultimately did not disappoint. Today I went back for follow-up tests: electromyopathy and a nerve conduction study. Which consisted of little pokey needles and electric shocks.

So from about 9 to 10 a.m. today, first she buzzed me, then she poked me. I totally prefer the buzz - seeing your leg kick up is pretty cool, and it's an uncomfortable feeling but not bad. Needles, however, are needles. Plus she has to not just stick it in there but WIGGLE it around, and sometimes it makes that muscle cramp (YES SHE WAS TOUCHING MY MUSCLE, EWW) . But it's neat. She could see with the electric shocks where the "blockage" was, and with the needles, she learned that my left foot and toes were a little weak due to having the blockage for a while, but my leg muscles were not weak at all and overall, there's not really any damage.

So I no longer have a Dead Leg, I have a "perineal obstruction at the fibular head." Or to you lay people, a pinched nerve on my left outer knee. And I need surgery on it.... (insert violins).

I suspect it will be orthoscopic and I know that it's outpatient, with very minimal recovery time needed. My doc said it was "no big deal." Naturally I am disappointed that I have to deal with it, but ... I know I'm lucky there's nothing really wrong with me. I am officially very very grateful it wasn't anything serious which for whatever reason I was worried it was. (Hence why I didn't post about it before, hence I wanted to feel reassured first and now I do ... hence, I am apparently a little stitious.)