Oh My Stars

Some of you know my interest in celebrities and gossip. Even though it's embarassing, it's there and I embrace my love of US Magazine and celebrity heartbreak and scandal and "Celebs! They're just like us!" photo spreads. And my God, the celebrity pregnancies...

Imagine my thrill when my friend Tina in San Diego informed me she got to attend the MTV Movie Awards in LA Sunday night. She and her friends were "seat fillers" aka cute and hot and fun and charmed the pants of the MTV dude. (Tina, I am awaiting a picture to post ...)

Upon my request, she provided an excellent detailed run-down of her celebrity sightings and observations. It was too good not to share:

mandy moore’s butt is huge. it almost knocked me out of my seat.

fergie is really much prettier in person – she is really short. she said hi to me on her way out of the bathroom. Cameron is pretty and tall too and really lean and tan but her personality was annoying. I expected them to have smashed in looking faces but they were pretty. Jessica biel wasn’t all that, but Jessica alba was. josh Duhamel is HOT.

heidi and spencer from MTV (Laguna Beach or the Hills???) are little tiny people with tiny tiny narrow builds. They are really pale and annoying. they sat two people away. Laura Conrad from that show is very very pretty and tall and skinny. The real world cast was really snobby and annoying.

paris is tall and skinny and walked right by us. she was actually really pretty. paris went to jail right after the show.

it was really neat to see jack Nicholson and Johnny depp. Johnny is a hermit and stayed back stage the whole time.

Rob from Rob and Big (MTV) is really really short but gave off a fun, nice vibe. the rappers were totally thugged out. Aly and AJ (sisters who sing) looked like 80 pound hookers with perfect hair.

will Farrell is hairy and ugly and big. rihanna is beautiful.

Now, I do have a hard time believing Mandy Moore's butt is that huge.

At least I hope to dear GOD it's not. Because I can't imagine what label might be applied to the rears of the rest of us normal human beings if Mandy freaking Moore (whose work I have been admiring on the Entourage Season Two DVD) is that big.

(By the way, Entourage is probably my favorite show. Makes HBO more than worth having post-Sopranos.) (Sniff, sniff.)

I hope this up close and personal celebrity information thrills you as much as it does me. And if it doesn't, and if you even think maybe I'm acting like a starstruck 16 year old girl, well, like, whateVVVVERRRR.