Blessings
Today we found out the news we've been waiting to hear since Dec. 25, the day we found out we were pregnant. We found out we're having a little baby girl.
And, we found out she's developing perfectly. She was wiggling around, perfect size, and appeared perfectly healthy.
So I just posted about this on my other blog. And turned the blog template pink, and posted cute pictures of Matthew wearing his special big brother t-shirt. And was just really happy and just la la la, I'm posting about having a girl, isn't this fun?
And then, as I'm cruising through my regular blog reading list ... I stumble across this post on Not That You Asked.
And now I'm sitting here in tears, barely able to talk to Michael about why I'm crying. About a stranger's story, about still more strangers - and their sweet 16 month old baby girl who's very very sick with cancer.
So here comes the cliche but my God, it makes me realize how blessed we are.
And it's not because I'm getting the girl I was so publicly hoping for. It's because I have a beautiful healthy kid sleeping peacefully in the other room, in the nursery we are able to financially provide for him. Because he was cared for today by the loving nanny we're able to hire. Because we both have steady jobs.
Mostly though, because Matthew's been perfectly healthy for these first two years of his life, minus his rvery minor little surgery. For which I had financial coverage, and good medical access.
I guess this post hit me so hard tonight - well, besides the heartbreaking photo - maybe because it reminds me how even the blessings you do have can seem like an illusion that falls apart in one second, with one doctor visit. How the world can just suck to unbelievable levels sometimes, and tends to hit the wrong people.
And how, until the day it hits you, and maybe even when it does, you have to work as hard as you can to keep yourself honest and just appreciate every single thing you have going for you.
Ignore the daily bullshit like work and deadlines and househunts and dog hair that just doesn't matter. And count your blessings, every single tiny and seemingly insignificant one. I guess it's not a cliche for nothing.
Labels:
Serious stuff
3 comments:
Oh my gosh - we must have been reading that at exactly the same time cause I was a wreck over that too last night. I happened upon it after putting my wriggling, crying baby to bed who kept saying "no, no, no" as I tried to lay her down. I could feel the frustration boiling up as I finally got her down and then just a short time later, read that post. Talk about major guilt, sadness, shock, etc. Over people I don't even know, but that could so easily be me, Tim and my little 18 month old babygirl. I can't shake it - just doesn't seem fair in so many ways and you're so right about being thankful for every little thing - especially wriggling crying babygirls who are super overtired and cranky.
Certainly puts things in perspective which we can all use every once in a while. Very well said!
We should all be grateful for our blessings. They come in many sizes and shapes. And they help us get through those difficult times. I'm crying too. That story is heartbreaking.
Okay, i'm going to resist the urge to click on the links and read the story. I'm already emotionally twisted over the struggle of the Flotsam.com person's baby.
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